Lynn Anderson is the author of several Christian books. He leads a Christian organization that provides mentoring to men. He preached for many years in Christian churches. He’s been a great friend and mentor to me. You can’t find a man of greater faith than Lynn Anderson. Yet in his book If I Really Believe, Why Do I Have These Doubts? Lynn writes about his struggle with spiritual doubts. He worried that if other Christians knew his doubts they wouldn’t accept him: “All along my journey of faith, periodic doubt has nipped at my heels. Yet most of the time I have also craved wholehearted belief in the God of my father and involvement in the family of God. Nurtured from childhood in the embrace of a tiny, close-knit Christian fellowship, I depended upon the church for much of my security and identity. Yet all the time I wondered, “Would they accept me if they knew I do not truly believe?…Was I a hypocrite, professing belief on the outside while harboring serious doubts on the inside?”[1] Lynn is one of those heroes of faith to me. Yet in his life he’s struggled with spiritual doubts. And he’s wondered what would happen in others knew of those doubts.
In this new Sunday morning series called “Doubt,” we’re talking about the spiritual doubt and disbelief. Like Lynn more of us than are willing to admit wrestle with doubt and disbelief regarding God. We rarely reveal to others that we have doubts. But many of us do. And we’re not really sure what to do with those doubts. I was talking recently with a grandmother. She had been in conversation with her granddaughter. The grandmother asked her granddaughter if she was praying about a specific issue. “Why would I?” the granddaughter asked. “ prayed for a long time about other things and God never answered those prayers.” Even young people struggle with doubts. In this series we’ll explore some of the causes of those doubts and how to deal with them.
Specifically, we’ll look at three sources of doubt. I’ve taken these three from a page by author John Ortberg. In his book Faith and Doubt, Ortberg reveals that three things often cause him to question God:[2]
1) The flawed product of Christianity—if Christianity can only produce flawed, faithless, and fearful people, is it really a worthwhile religion?
2) The lack of proof—sometimes there seems to be no tangible proof that God exists, that Jesus rose from the dead, or that faith is worth our effort.
3) The pain in life—suffering, tragedy, unanswered prayers, and disappointments often lead us to wonder if God is really there and if faith is worth the fight. Doubts often arise because the pain of life is too great, the proof of faith is too little, or the people of faith are too flawed.
Take just a second right now and turn to the person next to you. Share with that person which of these three you’ve struggled with at times. You don’t have share in detail. Just tell the person next to you one number—1, 2, or 3—which you’ve wrestled with at some point.
I’ve borrowed these three sources of doubt from John Ortberg. But I’ll be doing my own work as we explore these three sources in John 19-21. For the next three Sundays we’re going to dwell in John 19-21. On Easter Sunday we’ll look at Mary and how she struggles to believe because she has so much pain. On the Sunday prior to Easter, Palm Sunday, we’ll explore Thomas and how he struggles to believe because there’s not enough proof. But we begin with the doubt that arises because of the flaws of people of faith.
Sometimes we doubt because Christianity is full of flawed, fearful and faithless people. An atheist named Steven Weinberg puts it like this: “Good people do good things, and bad people do bad things, but to get good people to do bad things, that takes religion.”[3] Sometimes it seems that the only thing religion does is take good people and make them bad. Religion seems capable of creating mean and intolerant people. Consider, for example, the Florida believers who recently burned a Koran and thus helped spark deadly conflicts in the Middle East as a result. If that’s what Christianity produces, it raises doubts as to whether or not Christianity is a faith worth our time.
Frederick Buechner once wrote, “There is perhaps no better proof for the existence of God than the way year after year he survives the way his professional friends promote him.”[4] That is, it would take a God to put up with the slick, hypocritical, insensitive and greedy individuals who so often claim to speak for God. If that’s what faith produces, many doubt that faith is worth the fight. Sometimes we doubt because Christianity is full of flawed, fearful and faithless people.
And as we scan John 19-21, we find this very thing. The list of flawed, fearful and faithless people begins with Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus: 38 After these things Joseph of Arimathea, who was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate that he might take away the body of Jesus, and Pilate gave him permission. So he came and took away his body. 39 Nicodemus also, who earlier had come to Jesus by night, came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds in weight. 40So they took the body of Jesus and bound it in linen cloths with the spices, as is the burial custom of the Jews. 41Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid. 42So because of the Jewish day of Preparation, since the tomb was close at hand, they laid Jesus there. (John 19:38-42 ESV). Notice how John describes Joseph: “[he] was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly, for fear of the Jews.” Right now Joseph is boldly stepping out in faith. Jesus was convicted and condemned as a traitor to the Jews and to Rome. And by asking for the body of Jesus, Joseph risks being taken into custody for being associated with Jesus. Thus right now, Joseph seems very bold. But he’s not always been that way. Up until now, he’s been a disciple of Jesus “but secretly for fear of the Jews. Before now Joseph has hidden in the shadows. He’s not exactly been the perfect spokesperson for the Christian faith.
John describes Nicodemus in a similar way: “Nicodemus also, who earlier had come to Jesus by night.” Like Joseph, Nicodemus is now boldly stepping out in faith. He’s bringing 75 pounds of spices to prepare Jesus’ body for burial. The enormous amount, 75 pounds, was the quantity that might be used for royalty. But Nicodemus has not always been this bold. There was a time when he “had come to Jesus by night.” There was a time when he’d only associate with Jesus when no one was looking. He’s not exactly alumnus of the year from the school of Jesus.
The list of the flawed, fearful, and faithless continues with Mary Magdalene: 1 Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. 2So she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.” (John 20:1-2 ESV). On Easter Sunday we will explore Mary’s faith journey in detail. This morning we just pause long enough to note that Mary, the first to see the empty tomb, does not respond to this sight with delight. Instead, she responds with despair. She cannot imagine that the empty tomb might be proof of a resurrected Lord. Instead, it is proof that Jesus is gone—someone has taken him. That’s the only reality she can imagine. Even though she had long-witnessed the power of Jesus and personally experienced the power of Jesus (he cast out seven demons from her), on this day Mary cannot even fathom that just maybe this empty tomb means Jesus has defeated death. Here, she’s hardly a hero of faith.
As we continue through the chapters we find the entire group of the disciples cast in a less than flattering light: 19 On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being locked where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” (John 20:19 ESV). It’s still Sunday. It’s the day of the resurrection. From a Christian perspective, it’s the most important day in human history. God’s Son has risen from the dead. This day, the first day of the week, will become the day of worship, praise and celebration for every Christian in the world. And just as we might hope, this first Sunday finds the disciples gathered together. But just as we might fear, they are not gathered this Sunday for worship. They are gathered for protection. John notes they are behind locked doors “for fear of the Jews.” These men who have walked with Jesus for three years are now huddled behind a locked door, jumping at every sound, afraid that the same Jews who just tried, sentenced, and helped execute Jesus are coming after them. They are not exactly the poster-children for Christianity.
Next Sunday we’ll walk with Thomas as he wrestles with doubt. But this morning we’ll just briefly note his flaws: 24Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. 25So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.” (John 20:24-25 ESV) Thomas’ nickname is “the Twin.” The word literally means “double.” Could it be that this is Thomas’ nickname because he seems to be two different people? At times he is full of faith and absent of fear. But at other times he is full of fear and absent of faith. Ten of Thomas’ closest friends (we must assume that Judas is not among this group) have just told Thomas that Jesus appeared to them. Thomas has also heard the testimony of Mary. Yet in spite of the testimony of eleven people, Thomas does not believe. He demands the opportunity to stick his hands in the wounds of Christ. The audacity!
Finally, we come to Peter: 2Simon Peter, Thomas (called the Twin), Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples were together. 3Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We will go with you.” They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. 4Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the shore; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. (John 21:2-4 ESV). There’s probably a lot going on here. I’ll give Peter and his fellow fisherman some benefit of the doubt in saying that maybe they are just waiting—waiting for the resurrected Jesus to appear and to commission them for their mission. However, it does appear that Peter has given up. He says, “I’m going fishing.” We should remember that fishing wasn’t just a hobby for Peter. Fishing is how Peter spent his career before retiring so he could follow Jesus. When Peter says “I’m going fishing” it sounds suspiciously like, “I’ve had enough of this second career. I’m going to see if my old boss will take me back. I’m through. I’m done. I’m going back to fishing.” Remember that this is Peter—this is one of three men who were the closest to Jesus and spent the most time with Jesus. Yet even after three years of unparalleled access to Jesus, Peter decides to shut the doors, close up shop, and go back to the boat. If these flawed, fearful and faithless people are the best that Christianity can produce, some would raise a lot of questions about the validity of the Christian faith.
You may be familiar with the insurance company Aflac.[5] They are known for their commercials which feature a talking duck. The voice behind the duck belongs to Gilbert Gottfried. Aflac does about 75% of its business in Japan. Shortly after the earthquake and tsunami which devastated Japan, Gottfried, a comedian, made some insensitive and unkind remarks about Japan. Aflac immediately fired Gottfried and donated $1.2 million to the International Red Cross for disaster assistance in Japan. Why? They did that because they did not want any customer thinking that Gottfried represented the company. They did not want people reaching the wrong conclusion about Aflac based on the flaws of Gottfried.
Unfortunately, that sometimes happens with faith. We meet followers of Jesus like those in John 19-21. We meet a minister who disappoints us with some kind of moral failure. We overhear a Christian co-worker cursing. We get hurt by a Christian classmate who gossips about us. We listen to news stories about corruption in churches. And it eats away at our faith. We begin to doubt. At times it seems that the people of faith are too flawed for this thing we call Christianity to be of any worth. We reach a conclusion about Christianity based on the flaws of Christians. Sometimes we doubt because Christianity is full of flawed, fearful and faithless people.
But just at the point where we might be about to give up on the Christian faith because of its flawed people, Jesus does the unexpected:
- 17Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'” 18Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”—and that he had said these things to her. (John 20:17-18 ESV)
- 21Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” (John 20:21 ESV)
- Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. (John 21:15 ESV).
To fearful and faithless Mary, Jesus says, “but go to my brothers and say to them…” To the whole group of flawed disciples huddled behind a locked door, Jesus says, “As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.” And to Peter who seems to have given up altogether, Jesus says, “Feed my sheep. Put down the nets. Get out of the boat. And get back to work.”
The very flawed, fearful, and faithless people who might cause us to have doubts about Jesus are actually the same ones he sends to do the work of Jesus. While we may doubt because Christianity is full of flawed, fearful and faithless people, we can rejoice because Christianity is fueled by those same flawed, fearful and faithless people. The same people who right now raise questions in our mind as the worth of Christianity are eventually transformed by Jesus into amazing servants of Christianity. The people in John 19-21 go on to do unbelievable things. Jesus does not disqualify them for their doubts. He doesn’t fire them for their fear and their flaws. Instead, he finds a way to do his work through them. Not in spite of them. But through them.
John of Kronstadt was a nineteenth-century Russian Orthodox priest at a time when alcohol abuse was rampant.[6] None of his fellow priests would leave their church buildings to help people. They waited for the people to come to them. John, however, went out into the streets. People said he would lift the hungover, foul-smelling people from the gutter, cradle them in his arms, and say to them, “This is beneath your dignity. You were meant to house the fullness of God.” Similarly, Jesus comes to those who drunk with fear and hungover with doubt and says to them, “This beneath your dignity. You were meant to house the fullness of God.” And then he sends them. He employs them in his great global work.
It is the most ironic part of what is called the kingdom of God. When we see flawed people in the Christian faith, we begin to have doubts about the Christian faith. But eventually we come to understand that flawed, fearful and faithless people are the only kind of people in the Christian faith. There are no people in the Christian faith but the flawed and the fearful and the faithless. Every person claiming to follow Jesus has their baggage—even us. Yet surprisingly, Jesus is capable of taking those same flawed individuals, the ones who create doubt in the minds of onlookers, and transform them into people who join Jesus in his work. Give Jesus enough time and he can take an individual whose flaws make you doubt and transform that individual into a person whose faith will make you believe.
[1] Lynn Anderson If I Really Believe, What Do I Have These Doubts? Revised and Expanded (Howard, 2000), 77.
[2] John Ortberg, Faith and Doubt (Zondervan, 2008), Kindle edition, location 1528-1534.
[3] Ortberg, 1644.
[4] Ortberg, 1671.
[5] http://www.thedailybeast.com/cheat-sheet/item/gilbert-gottfried-fired-as-aflac-duck/too-soon/#
[6] James Bryan Smith, The Good and Beautiful God (IVP, 2009), 162.
